Session 5: Weekend of 4-25-07
Game: A few turns of Europe Engulfed
Players: Robin and I
Result: None yet

My Competitiveness: 7
My enjoyment (based on my attitude): 8
Others' enjoyment (based on my attitude): 8 (1?)
Overall Self-Grade: D-

Well, here I had a significant breakdown. Robin moved some units through a neutral territory to get behind me, where I had assumed that was impossible. Basically, if I had sent 1 unit down there, which would have been trivial, I could have prevented it, but I didn't really look at the situation closely and it ended up causing huge problems for me. I was pretty pissy about it, complaining bitterly that I didn't realize he could do that. I slowly got my bearings and clarified that it was kosher, I just didn't see it, and eventually appologized outright, but it still was not the ideal reaction.

Its a long, complicated, involved game, and watching a stupid mistake cost you all that investment in time and effort is no fun, but I undeniably reacted badly, and need to learn from this. Ideally, I won't care, but thats a long way off for situations like this. Instead, I need to be upset if I need to be, but keep it to myself, and get back on track as quickly as possible.

Otherwise, it was our most enjoyable session, for both of us I think. I talked myself into playing a little more recklessly, and it was a very dynamic series of moves.

Session 4: Weekend of 4-21-07
Game: Blokus, 4 times
Players: Lots of folks, mostly Rebecca, Leslie, Scott, Luke

Result: Won one of four
My Competitiveness: 6
My enjoyment (based on my attitude): 7
Others' enjoyment (based on my attitude): 8
Overall Self-Grade: B+

I kvetched a bit when I got blocked, but not overly badly. I'm pretty comfortable with the strategy in this game, so I didn't overthink much, but its easy enough to keep your attitude good when you feel confident. I reckon I just generally feel secure, I need to nurture that attidude more easily.

At first, I was beating myself up a bit about this one, because I was definately trying to compete, but then again, I didn't go much beyond just trying to make a decent move. I didn't overdo it, I don't think.

I need to curb the kvetching, as I keep saying. Though, the last 2 times its been a problem, someone was at least as complainey as I was, which sort of let me let my guard down. Still, I shouldn't let that happen, nothing wrong with being a much better sport than anyone else, rather than just not-the-worst.

Session 3: Weekend of 4-21-07
Game: Set, lots of times
Players: Lots of folks, mostly Rebecca, Angela, Leslie, Scott
Result: Won a third of so of the time

My Competitiveness: 4
My enjoyment (based on my attitude): 9
Others' enjoyment (based on my attitude): 8
Overall Self-Grade: A

This is sort of a tough game to be competitive about, but I still did well, letting people have points where the calls were close, congratulating people when they made nice sets. I was still pretty talky, but that's probably nothing I'm going to fix, and it wasn't in a bad way. This was an easy one, especially since it was vaguely real time and therefore there was no time to tgrack score or stew on it, but I still did very well.

Session 2: 4-18-07
Game: San Marco
Players: Me, Robin, Christina
Result: Won

My Competitiveness: 6
My enjoyment (based on my attitude): 8
Others' enjoyment (based on my attitude): 7
Overall Self-Grade: B

This was a weird one. The mechanics really lend themselves to overthinking, and I had to force myself not to. I generally just worried about not doing something totally awful, and was pretty willing to say fuck it, close enough.

I was a little more vocal about this than I'd have liked, again I don't need to advertise my lack of competitiveness. It was a tough one though, and it being my first game of a subtle game, I did ok. I also kvetched a bit about my pieces continually getting banished by Robin and Christina, but I think it stayed in the realm of "good-natured", especially given how many times in a row I was targeted. Still, stuff I could cut out.

Things to improve: Still need to just make my move without advertising my uncompetitiveness. Overall though, getting pretty good, knowing I'm accountable to the blog is helping, just to be conscious of it, and making it not ok to let my emotions get the better of me.

Session 1: 4-16-07
Game: Settlers of Catan
Players: Me, Robin, Christina, Angela

Result: Won
My Competitiveness: 7
My enjoyment : 7
Others' enjoyment : 8
Overall Self-Grade: B-

My first game since my plan for improvement. I generally did well, I got a little crabby at first, but this was more because people were acting ridiculous in ways totally outside the game. I took silly chances with my initial selections, traded kindly, never thief-ed agressively, was good-natured about getting theif-ed.

That said, it was still a bit forced. I had to say "I'm going to go against my usual strategy", however sort of jokily, when I did it. I had to point out when I was giving someone a good trade, and had to say "It's ok if you theif me" in a way that seemed forced. Also, I did still win, and was still concerned about my plans coming together.

I complained in a way that I considered good-natured about certain numbers coming up uncanily often, but I would ideally cut that out too.

Its a start, but I have a long way to go, especially if I'm to reach Hsieh-like levels of unselfishness.

Lessons: If you're going to be cool, just do it, no need to point it out. There might be no such thing as good-natured complaining, just cut it out altogether.